Every day, till I take my last breath
It is early in the morning and I am on my 3rd cup of coffee. I have my stuff spread out over the dining room table, this is my new office. The home office is a war zone with papers that need to be filed, the end of my wife’s thesis, and her own projects.
I find myself asking this question, could I do this thing that I am doing till I die?
The answer is, Yes.
In the early years of my career, when I was working on rigs, I would have never said yes. I was too busy striving to move up, to progress and climb the ladder. Yet, the higher I climbed, the less engaged I became, I soon learned that I was chasing something that would never quench my desire for more.
These past 7 years have been the hardest ever, basically my forty’s have kicked my ass. When I started this entrepreneurial journey at 40, I had only an inkling of what was to come. Earlier this month I had my 48th birthday. My 40th was a great celebration, I got my first tattoo, my wife threw me a surprise party, all of my closest friends were there – I was also 4 months without employment, 4 months into the journey.
My birthday this year was different, very low key, just my girls celebrating with me. The biggest difference since 40, was that I had a new project that I was kicking off, I told no one that it was my birthday. This birthday reminded me of the birthdays I spent on rigs, no glamor, no celebrations, just work, Yet, having a new project is the greatest gift ever, it is the fruit of my labor.
I enjoy my mornings, the quiet time before the birds, before the sun, time where I can quietly reflect. The plans that I have laid out are for an upcoming project, it should be ready for me around September/October. This will be a new one for me, it will be my first Tilt-wall, my first interior buildout for Bayou City Buildout. As I study the plans, I imagine myself building, laying out the walls, hanging the ceiling, working through the details.
This process of visualizing, then making it happen is what I referred to in the opening line of this post. Could I do this for the next 40 + years? I am no longer chasing, climbing; rather I am learning to use my creativity and imagination to take ideas from paper and make them real. The journey is the purpose, there is no destination for me, there is no set date that I am working towards. It took me long time to come to this conclusion, I am grateful for the painful lessons this journey has taught me.
